It seems that I have somehow become a primary (grade) school teacher. This is not so bad. The kids here are taught 50 or 60 to a class all week, then they come here of a weekend and I get them to have conversations with each-other, then put them into teams and have them compete in basic language games for a while. Then they go off in a good mood to tell their well-off parents how much more fun this is than real school. I’ve got my own assistant too, and am currently working for a less than stressful ten hours a weekend. All week is then free for me to do absolutely nothing, as I’ve run out of money. Pay day is next Tuesday and the first purchase will be a DVD player. In the meantime I’m eating a lot of rice and shivering in the unheated flat. The weather is bound to get better pretty soon.

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Coming up to two weeks in the greenest city in China now, and “teaching” starts tomorrow. I’m not nervous really, no point in it when these promise to be some of the least stressful jobs I’ve ever had.
Living here is fantastically easy. The flat is basic even by Czech standards, but I’ve never been fussy about that. The water is undrinkable, the bed rock hard, the sofa made of unpadded wood. None of these problems bother me too much. On the upside living costs are ridiculously low. If I feel like cooking I can make a meal for pennies, if I can’t be bothered I can get a takeaway from downstairs for about the same. Even electronic equipment and non-bootleg DVDs are cheap – this is where they all come from.
In Prague I could blend in. Here this is impossible. If you see a white face on the street you’ll both stop and talk to each-other. Half the foreigners in the city seem to be my colleagues. At night we happen upon each-other outside and hang out on walls in front of buildings with security guards or at the open air bar outside a supermarket. It’s almost t-shirt weather at night and I keep feeling like I’m at Glastonbury.
As for the city itself, everything seems to be new but dirty. There’s a smog that hangs over the place all day but at the same time huge green parks everywhere. From the balcony in the flat, through the prison bars, you can see out into the Pearl River Delta, watch oily fishing boats making their way out to the South China Sea.
Don’t know if I want to eat anything caught here though. We’ve been out to a fair few introductory meals, each one a proper banquet. The potato cakes and spicy pork are the best I’ve tasted so far. You have to be careful though – not only are they even keener on offal than the Slavs, they’re also even more likely to give it a bizarre and inaccurate name. “Phoenix claws” are battered chicken feet. You don’t want to know what “dragon fights tiger” is.
I’m still worried about my health, but have been told by everyone that I shouldn’t worry about it too much. Easier said than done. My money is running low too, but I can survive on almost nothing so that isn’t a problem. Altogether things seem to be going ok.

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News from China

China is fine. Nothing like as strange as you’d think. I’ve been here just over a week but it feels like a month or more. At first I was apprehensive about even leaving the flat (which is a fairly sweet deal) but now I walk around like I own the place.
I was going to write a huge description of my week but can’t think straight after the medical I had at the hospital this morning. I found out I have a heart condition. Probably not a very serious one, apparently, but all the same I can’t write when I’m worrying about myself so much.
Will write properly when I get over it, say, tomorrow. Or in a few days.

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So this is it. The end of the European era. The signs haven’t been particularly good this week – my computer is totalled, I have no money left and I owe some to the parents now too. All the same, the hectic schedule of the last week has left me in a very good mood. And the ‘something to look forward to’ element of course.
Last night was the (sort of) leaving party. Took everyone to Banditos – was supposed to be Taj mahal but that turned out to be the most expensive Indian restaurant I’ve ever seen. Banditos, though, was absolutely unbelievable. Best food I’ve had in months. Hamish made a rare appearance too, completing the only gathering of “everyone” since I got here.
After the food we went to the Eye, nearly got run over on the way by some twat who sped up as we crossed the road and missed us by inches. Dennily and Liv had a very interesting conversation about the different textures human meat would have depending upon the age of the person involved, then Jan’s friends from Brussels turned up. I had an hour or so drinking with two Czechs, one Russian and a Greek guy. Keeping up with the level of alcohol consumption was a little difficult. I was wrecked by 3 and had to go to bed. All for the best.
Next time I write in this I’ll either be in China or in transit somewhere. Still not panicking.

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I’m really tired of writing about going out and I’m sure nobody is particularly interested in reading about it. This was the last weekend before I leave, though, so one more time isn’t going to hurt. We were going to have a little party for me and Liv at Dennily’s place, so I turned up at early for that but it didn’t really happen. All the barflies were at the other leaving party (Chrissy’s) at Cafe Metropole, so we left Dennily asleep on her bed and went there instead. It was completely packed out with Blind Eye types. I sat in the corner and talked to Dennily’s housemate’s friend’s boyfriend about politics in Liverpool in the 1980s and the personal lives of The Ramones.
Predictably most of us ended up at Blind Eye. Left there and went back with Dennily’s housemate, then ate and watched The Sopranos and Clue with them on Sunday. I will never get tired of watching Clue.
Finally slept last night. Got up early today to go to the Chinese embassy to sort my visa out. It was my third visit so at least I knew where it was this time. On the downside there was an hour-long queue to the desk and only 50 minutes left until the cut-off point. Why you can only apply for visas anywhere for two 3-hour periods a week is a mystery to me. Fortunately the woman at the counter was sympathetic, though she did tell me to leave the line three times to change parts of my application and cut out and glue a passport photo to it.
Now I’m free for the rest of the day. This is good.

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Monday was “last night” for Amanda and Miriam. With people coming and going so often around here the social schedule seems to consist of a string of leaving parties. They’d suggested going to have a meal, and I’d said we could go to Braziliero as I wanted to check out their legendary selection of meat and arrived ten minutes late to find Dennily and Liv complaining that it was closed, though it turned out they’d been to the wrong restaurant. When Amanda, Miriam, Vicky and Marcus turned up we went downstairs, found there was only room in the non-smoking area and stood around debating whether we should go or not. I made an effort to underline that I wasn’t in charge, then a consensus emerged that we should just go back to Zizkov to eat at Kure V Hodinach
The meal was good but unbelievably small. Turned out the waitress had accidentally ordered us half-portions for some reason. The only good move of the night was the one up the hill to the Clown and Bard, where we had some drinks and I had some cool presents from the girls. Nobody was up for a big night, it being Monday and the Blind Eye still being closed, so by 2 it was just me and Miriam left. We went to Akropolis, came back again, tried to call Michelle and wrote on arms. Eventually we found Michelle at her up with a load of people at her house, up with a load of people who’d just had tattoos. I had to go to sleep so I said goodbye and left them there to get the day tram home.
Then I was woken up the next afternoon by a text message saying they’d missed their flight.

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On the 11th of February I’m flying to Hong Kong, arriving on the 12th. From there I’ll get a ferry to my new job (and, cough, life) in Zhuhai.

This is where it is:

And it looks a bit like this:

It seems to surround Macau.

I’ve got over my nervousness now. Still don’t speak a word of cantonese though.

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On Friday Jan took me along to a warehouse rave. There were three of us going at first, then eleven by the time we got out of the bar. After a night tram, a trip to the all-night petrol station and a good few sets of directions we found the place past a cluster of fire engines, down a stairwell and along a disused railway track. The rave was in the very dark warehouse basement, half filled with shady people with hoods over their heads. The sides were dotted with beer, herbal high, mushroom and “cake” stalls. The music was old school jungle and techno and was so distorted it often sounded like one single note with the potential to shake the building to dust. The only toilets were two unlit portaloos outside. It was fucking cool. I had a good dance and moreorless everyone else had some of that mystery brown powder they’re still calling “MDMA”. It was good for a couple of hours until Amanda started freaking out and we had to take her to the Clown and Bard and stop her running in front of things she thought were taxis. Stayed there for a while with her and Miriam, and also Derek, who was unable to stop talking like Hunter S Thompson.
The next day I found Ken and Virginia, who were visiting on a trip from Scumhampton. They were having a good one despite having come at the coldest time of the year with toothache. Had a meal in Radost FX then took them down to the Blind Eye, where we had beers and shots and socialised. Was a reasonable night, though everyone who’d been at the rave seemed only half there.
Sunday tried to watch Arizona Dream in the hostel while about 50 backpackers sang and screamed all around. Think I heard about four words in total.

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