It’s very odd to be in an internet cafe where everyone else is watching hardcore porn clips.

But anyway.

I recieved this e-mail last week:

From: Robert Harare
Date: 24 Nov 08:34 (PST)
To: weejay@***.com
Subject: INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY.

DEAR SIR.
PLEASE I AM A BOY OF 25 YEARS AND I AM LOOKING FOR INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY.
I INTENDED TO INVEST THE SUM OF TWENTY MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS INHERITED
BY MY LATE FATHER.I AM FROM ZIMBABWE.BUT I AM LIVING IN THE NETHERLANDS (EUROPE)
AT THE MOMENT FOR MORE INFORMATION REACH ME ON MY NUMBER 0031647858017 OR THROUGH
THE EMAIL rharare@zwallet.com

I’ve since engaged in a series of e-mails with the aspiring con-artist, who genuinely seems to think I’m falling for his shit. Little does he know that I’m making him give me his address so I can pass this information on to the police.
It’s long though, so…

From: weejay@***.com
Date: 24 Nov 12:56 (PST)
To: rharare@spinfinder.com
Subject: Re: INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY.

I would very much like to support you and your cause. I
too have recently come into a vast amount of money and
am not sure what to do with it. Any advice on how I
could invest it would be very welcome. However, I am
unforunately unable to speak due to an accident with my
vocal chords when I was young so I cannot telephone you.
If theres any other way I can help, please don’t
hesitate to ask.

From: robert harare
Date: 25 Nov 07:02 (PST)
To: weejay@***.com
Subject: Note

Sir

Is nice to read from you and i will be very happy to invest this money with trust worthy person .
But let me tell you more about my self,
At the moment i am seeking for political asylum in the Netherlands and i don’t have the legal document to travel out of Holland.That is the reason i cannot invest my self
This money was deposited by my late father on my name, it was deposited in a box as a photographic material with out the company knowing the content was money ,that was the only way such money can be transfer from Africa with out the government knowing and to avoid over tax custom clearance.And when i come into Holland i didn’t not declare the fund to the Government, i have twenty million u.s dollars.that is why i can not invest here.
All investment will be carried out by you and i will offer you 20% of the total fund once the fund is transfer to your bank account and will can talk about investment sharing during our forth coming meeting as we go on with the investment.
Please let me know if you we be able to come to Holland to see me for more discussion and if you can not come i will employ the service a lawyer to help us do the clearance, l will forward your information to my lawyer to advise us on how will can get the money transfer to your bank account.That all the legal process and the transfer should be made by him.please confirm if the percentage i am offering you is ok and also send me more information about your seif so that .my attorney can continue from here.you can reach me with this number
0031647858017 for any question or send me an email
sorry for your illness .
Thanks
Robert Harare

From: weejay@***.com>
Date: 26 Nov 11:52 (PST)
To: rharare2@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Note

My Dear Sir.

It is with great personal pleasure that I found your
swift reply in my mailbox this fine afternoon. I am
also glad that after such a brief correspondance you
can tell that I am a truly trustworthy person and not a
criminal trying to steal your money. Indeed I will take
the greatest care of it.
It’s also lucky that you are currently stationed in
Holland as I was planning to have a brief holiday there
this coming January. I enjoy especially going to
Amsterdam and appreciate the fine quality marijuana and
prostitutes there. While I’m there I would be delighted
to meet up with you and discuss the proposition.
By the way, thank you very much for your interest in my
illness. I am due to have fitted a compuer synthesis
unit whereby I will be able to speak again, in the
manner of the famous scientist Steven Hawking. It’s an
expensive operation but with god willing I will be able
to use my new found wealth to have a pioneering implant
operation and reagain a normal voicetone.
Thankyou again sir, and God Bless.

From: robert harare
Date: 27 Nov 07:31 (PST)
To: weejay@***.com
Subject: Re: Note

Sir,
Please send me your contact information and tell me more about your investment plans .with that i can take my decision and also send copy of passport or driving
so that lawyer can write all the documents on your behalf.
Thanks
Robert

From: weejay@***.com
Date: 29 Nov 11:30 (PST)
To: rharare2@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Note

Hello again my dear sir.
I will send you a copy of my passport and anything else
you like. What address should I send them to? I cannot
scan so I’m afraid it will have to be by post.
Hope all is well,
James.