events continue.

The wandering minstrels of our cosy expat scene, Bea & Hamish, have returned to Prague after a two month holiday putting red peppers next to green peppers in a fridge and living in a shed in Cambridgeshire with a frog. We met each of them individually at the airport, holding up my handmade giant sheep sign (seeing as they’re Kiwis and all.) The Norwegian girls are back too, and Zazu. The great exodus returns to the promised land. So more beer. Hura.
B&H brought along two more Kiwis with them – they seem to be multiplying by the day. Always good to have passing travelers at Chez Rohacova 80. Been going on various day trips – today we went up to Vysehrad, very nice indeed – and a festival in the park with beer and food.
Yesterday, however, was another kind of day trip altogether. Bea, Hamish & I met up with Petra & Lenka to visit my ex, Misa / Chelsea in the hospital. Petra & Lenka were very well prepared, seeming almost to enjoy the visit. I was not at all. When the nurse fetched her I was expecting her to be troubled, sketchy, even a little sedated maybe, but not a shuffling ghost, unable to walk, talk or focus properly. My optimistic visiting spirits sagged. Misa was sedated as far beyond activity of the body and mind as a waking girl can be. Movements took minutes. Petra & Lenka (props to) took charge of moving her from one room to another, a request she constantly made, wanting to get away from some voices. How sad that last flippant sentence is. I’ve seen the look in her eye on somebody else before and it scares me.
After attempts at communication for half an hour, Petra got a pen and paper for Misa to write on. So what I had chosen not to listen to was spelled out in front of us all in biro ink. She could hear dead people, she was down on her knees, hit by a car and at a wedding…
I wonder how much of her I ever really knew. Those moments alone, looking into each-others eyes- it’s then you think in terms of direct connection. A line between you both composed of symbiotic understanding. But I knew shit. She had two weeks of telling me she was going mad and all I could do was dismiss it – “Oh Misa, come on,” I thought, “you say these things for effect, you want attention, you want to be noticed..” And I remember telling somebody I was a good judge of character a few months back. Funny how arrogance comes to bite you in the arse, eh?
We left quite quickly. Bea had a hard time but Hamish had a good try at communicating, but she was in another world entirely. I had to go to work.
So there you go. I feel embarrassed about my description of her a few entries ago. I could delete it, but it was true, she was grating on me then and why should I lie about it, try to re-write the past? The only thing could be concerned about was her reading or hearing about it, but that seems highly unlikely right now.
To move on to home based problems, Bea & Hamish have taken the opportunity of coming home to break up. Bea told me last night that she didn’t know what to do about it. I didn’t know either. Hamish heard the conversation. Enough said already.
I’ve been having fun today, but all this stuff keeps coming back to me. Especially Misa.

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1 Response to events continue.

  1. poranila_se says:

    i’m sorry about everything.

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