I was trying to get to sleep by lying in bed listening to the world service last night when an interview started with an American woman who, due to a car crash or something, had damaged her speech centres and couldn’t stop talking in a faux-cockney/Australian accent. She was getting really upset about it, almost hysterical that nobody would take her seriously. All in a faux-cockney/Australian accent. Then Rory Bremner came on and praised her brave struggle, but whilst doing impressions of George Bush and Tony Blair. And she got tearful and started thanking him / Tony… in a faux-cockney/Australian accent.
I couldn’t get to sleep for an hour after that as I thought my brain was going to explode.
Then today, tired from nothing at all, I attempted to cook and eat some food, but even this simple task was rendered impossible by the beast that is Jacques. I despise him and hope he dies very very soon. It’s taken me a long time to come to this decision but now I’m pretty sure he actually enjoys being an absolute godforsaken arsehole.
Any suggestions on how to kill him?
Anyone who doesn’t know him will think I’m laying it on a bit thick here. I’m not.
- 2011 tracks
- 2014 tracks
- 2015 tracks
- Beijing restaurants
- britpop nuggets
- china life
- china questions
- china travel
- chinese food
- chinese language
- chinese literature
- czech republic
- forgotten 90s bands
- hong kong
- les rougon-macquart
- meat in popular music
- mind your language
- the cabin fever
- things in china
- uk life
- weird food
- Centuries of Sound 23/10/2017
- I probably have to write something about the bizarre Princess Diana statue garden in Nansha 31/01/2017
- 75 Tracks From 2015 16/01/2016
- The Floor 10/12/2015
- Chinese Condom Brands 08/11/2015
- Britpop Nuggets Part Three: Long Live The UK Music Scene 22/10/2015
- Britpop Nuggets Part Two or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Tolerate Northern Uproar 28/09/2015
- Britpop Nuggets Part One: Some People are Born to Dance 20/09/2015
- Tkay Maidza 13/08/2015
- Deep Dream Photos 20/07/2015
Anonymous on China, Translated Anonymous on China, Translated Giacomo on Equally Divided Europe Alenachola on I probably have to write somet… hiпроооо on I probably have to write somet…
Last.fm weekly chart