In between socializing with jolly backpackers, the olympics has again taken up much of my day, and why not? It’s always been my idea that they should have some really pointless events in the mix to provide some comic relief. Slow bicycle races, pissing up a wall, tantric sex, maybe a freestyle event where you just do whatever you want. But any idea I could dream up has been topped by the ludicrous spectacle of the modern pentathlon.
Now, don’t get me wrong – track and field heptathlons, decathlons, whatever, fair dues. The events vaguely have something in common – running, jumping, all that. But if you take five entirely unrelated disciplines which require a lifetime of dedication and put them together, then what? A shooting competition where they all miss, a swimming race where they can barely keep in their own lanes, a slow sprint and to top it all off a display of show jumping in front of a stadium full of people in which half the competitors can’t even get their horses around the course, and the rest smash walls and fences like they just don’t care. Or do, but are crap anyway.
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