Matthew’s birthday was a cornucopia of comedy. Moreorless everybody switched genders for the evening and generally lost all their qualms about going completely screaming-slut-crazy.
I was going to go into detail, but really shouldn’t. I want to be honest with this and write what goes on, but I know people I know will read it and it’s starting to feel less like a weblog and more like a gossip server. I’m sorry to be a cunt about it, but there you go. It’s getting to the point where I’m having to consider everything I write down and whether I can or not, and that’s utter shit.
I’ve been castigated roundly for writing a few things on here and I see the complainants points. While I’d say I haven’t written anything controversial on here it’s all a matter of your standpoint.
What I always say is that to write you have to first be used to exposing yourself to the world and then mercilessly use other people’s lives, other people’s joy and despair, recycle and suck dry. Cut and paste. Why? Because that’s just how it works. I’d prefer to be honest about it, really.
The problem is that although I like to think of myself as self-reliant, my life naturally is entangled with that of others. So when the keys are pressed and the words uploaded, it’s unfortunately a censored version that makes it to your screen. Why? Because I’m a pussy? Maybe. I’ll let you judge on that one. But now I’ve got a tinge of caution in my mind I don’t feel free to change that.
The things I can’t say are the most interesting things.
So, what do I do? Write about boring shit? Or just write about writing, like I’m doing here? The first and last refuge of the subject-starved. If I could separate the feeling, the philosophy, the ideas from the events, would that be a solution? I can answer that one. No. I’m not up for writing coded riddles and enigmas, bad poetry all of it. Honesty isn’t all, but playing games to hide it is at best pointless.
What do I do then? Hm.
Ideas are welcome, as ever. Though (with the greatest of respect) I’m not expecting anyone to blow my mind with some great solution. It may be symptomatic that I am writing all this instead of just thinking it.
Here’s something funny, anyway:

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17 Responses to

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hamish says: Leave it to me to fill in the details here cousin.

  2. rubysurprise says:

    i have become increasingly cryptic in what i write here. obviously having lee from scarlet soho commenting on my every move pretending to be steve is a bit of a shit. also people i live with and spend a lot of time with can’t know every detail of my life and all about how my mind works because they’d never talk to me again.

    • Yeah
      Me too.
      Secrets can be good, maybe.
      From :
      “..Having a secret none of your workmates know is healthy for your ego.
      ..It could be quite a big secret, like sending death threats to establishment figures or selling dope to schoolchildren.
      ..Or it could just be a cute little secret, like coming to work in rubber underwear, or having milk-bottle tops sellotaped to your nipples, or keeping a Cadbury’s Mini-Egg in your belly-button.
      ..Now look at those peasants surrounding you. They don’t know.”

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hi James,
    I have to admit that I didn’t understand all of your message, but I got your point for sure. I’m very sorry If you got the feeling that Im here only “seeking some gossips” etc. Of course, I’m just a girl and I like gossips. I have also lived there one year and there is lots of people who I really like and care. And I want to know how is everybody doing. Of course its not your duty to report how is everyone, personal stuff etc.
    Interest about other peoples life is not usually a bad thing, generally I want good for everyone. And my life here is very different from Praha.And I don’t think its a bad thing or anything, but its very different. And sometimes I really miss all those crazy parties or late night at Blind Eye.
    But the main thing why Im reading this is because I want to know how are YOU doing James. Whats inside of your head ( and I know already those brains, blood etc. things, the other ones this time ;D). And just because I like you soooo much, you know that.
    I will write you some email later this week

    • It’s alright, I’m not accusing you of coming here for gossip or anything. Well, maybe a bit.
      Maybe I should make a Zizkov expats gossip message board for that purpose.
      And then never go there again.

  4. Anonymous says:

    A Zizkov Ex-pats Gossip site. I like that idea! I’m sure someone like Carrie would be on it all day and all night.

    • Anonymous says:

      Isn’t that a bit mean?? Carrie is probaply the only one who is not involved this.. ok dear adults, how did this end up like that? I think most of us just want to know how is everyone doing. And still interested about others life is not a bad thing, I think, but maybe thats a cultural difference..

  5. Anonymous says:

    james, for the love of god, throw me a bloody line here. im dying in a terrible quagmire of work, work, more work, and a growing suspicion that i have fucked you or others off to the point of being ostracised from your weblog. bearing in mind that i am not long for these parts, communicate damn you! love bea

  6. Anonymous says:

    Mamrat kotchke (sic).

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