All the housemates I’ve ever had.

Bored, so creating a meme. May it flourish through many a journal. All the people I’ve lived with for more than a week in a house I was officially living in (i.e not student halls, a hostel or somebody’s sofa):

Southampton:
1. Matt – Tall illustrator, drummer, good friend and longest-serving on this list by about a year. Genuinely great guy.
2. Tim – Most sensible person in the house by a long way and got some stick for it. Nice chap though.
3. Eddy – Local celebrity and student journalist, now music industry chancer. Always has a good one.
4. Dan – De-facto leader of the house, artist and musician. Been through some hard times but I’m glad to say seems to be on track now.
5. Jamie – Moved into our kitchen for a month in 2000. The Reynolds is now in the seriously decent Klaxons.
6. Lee – Wannabe Jim Morrison egotist, appeared in Dan’s room and hung around a bit too long.
7. Danny (Madskilz) – Another overstaying house guest, but a good one. Shy, retiring Drum & Bass promoter.
8. Alex – Drug-crazy battery-powered compulsive lying delinquent who appeared one day, then disappeared another. A good kid all-in-all.
9. John – Film-making local drug dealer, former buddhist monk, least stereotypical gay man in memory. In Brighton now.
10. Sam – Crack-taking furious heavily built short guy who smashed up the place because it was untidy. Utter cunt.
11. Ross – From Belfast, what we at the time called a ‘townie’ but not a bad guy really. Didn’t really ‘get it’ though.
12. Brian – Ross’s friend from Columbia. Kept himself very much to himself.

Prague:
13. Hamish – Kiwi reprobate, later homeless drunkard, now respected schoolteacher. Solid chap.
14. Bea – Mature 18-year old Kiwi girl, Hamish’s girlfriend at the time. Thought she was going to die.
15. Bob – Little pixie guy from Athens, Georgia. Former clown, pre-school teacher and professional drinker. In Ireland now for a detox.
16. Jacques – Prissy obsessive French guy with mental problems and a temper. Complete twat who ruined the house for us.
17. Russ – Apparently only other English guy in Zizkov. Good friend, drunkard, now back in UK, I think.
18. Hanna – Vibrant Finnish girl stayed with us for a very hazy summer. Now back in Helsinki.
19. Jan – Good friend, stayed in out house over Christmas & New Year, I stayed in his house last month.
20. Lara – Jan’s Canadian girlfriend, back in Canada now becoming a teacher.
21. Miriam – Norwegian art student, the more sensible but less active one. Back in Prague for a bit now and still cool as fuck.
22. Birte – More than slightly melodramatic Norwegian photography student, also back now and good to see again.
23. Ivana – Effervescent Croatian former girlfriend of Russ. Was a dancer, then a photojournalist, now studying to be a human rights lawyer.
24. Martin – I lodged at his house. A Czech guy who’d lived alone for too long and pretty strange for it.
25. Brian – The other lodger, American conspiracy theorist with a twitch, he kind of scared me.

Brighton:
26. Amalia – Slovak girl, bit of a star, chambermaid and waitress. Now in the USA.
27. Natalia – Slovak girl, Amalia’s friend, more steady but cool. Also in USA now.
28. Andy – English jack-the-lad who turned out to be a wanted criminal. A bit too much, but got on with me generally.
29. Ramon – Spanish chamberman. Didn’t understand how to communicate with men and groped girls at clubs. A bit weird.
30. Liam – Cool painter / decorator from Ipswich, decent guy all-in-all.
31. Yann – Very quiet Frenchman, hardly knew he was there. Seemed pleasant, though.

Prague (again):
32. Terrance – From New York, English teacher.
33. Keith – From Londonderry, English teacher.

So that would make:
Male: 25
Female: 8

And by nationality:
English: 13
Americans: 3
Northern Irish: 2
New-Zealanders: 2
Czech: 2
French: 2
Norwegian: 2
Slovak: 2
Spanish: 1
Croatian: 1
Finnish: 1
Canadian: 1
Colombian: 1

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8 Responses to All the housemates I’ve ever had.

  1. i can’t really do tht cos of the presence of former housemates on my friendslist. ahh well.

    • You can see two of my former housemates below…

      • alright i might as well but it’s only southampton so far:
        32, berkeley close
        emma – plump and pratronising, shoe obsessed heat magazine fanatic. her catchphrase was “hello darling” accompanied by a hug. she grated after a while, badly.
        vicky – she wasn’t the sharpest tool in the box and had a really annoying speech impediment. what you saw was what you got.
        james – vicky’s boyfriend from leicester. didn’t want to live in a house with three student girls. incredibly surley.
        7, kenilworth road
        steve – loveable yet self obsessed southampton indie regular. bought a string of girls back. used to drink martini with olives in on his own.
        ben – incredibly unstable bournemouth indie type. was always almost getting beaten up on account of his campness. started taking drugs heavily towards the end of the year.
        point 2 – ben’s friend from his course. he was from salisbury, knew some of my friends and went home every weekend. he found the holocaust hilarious. we once found a gim suit in his drawer.
        tommy – one of the most unlikeable people i have ever met. a complete music snob with no social skills whatsoever.
        lisa – lived in tommy’s room. loud mouthed “bis girl” who was shagging steve on the side. didn’t contribute to bills so was asked to leave.
        3, morris road
        lu – friendly hippy/goth type girl. used to enjoy drugs and dancing until she suddenly became a reclusive fitness freak.
        caz – slightly dippy but loveable 17 going on 23 year-old. would get angry at very small things but was one of the most diplomatic people i have ever met.
        shelli – pleasant but perhaps the bossiest person i have ever met. spent most of her time at her boyfriend’s house. had a car so was often invited to things.
        hannah – absolutely insane welsh vet. she had an alcohlic mess of a boyfriend and insisted on bringing unwanted animals back from the vets which inevitably died.
        amy – she sppeared very sweet but soon turned out to be quite sneaky. if anything went missing it was usually because she’d stolen it. this included underwear from the washing line.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Jesus Christ mate, you really must be bored.
    Hamish.

    • Anonymous says:

      I’m bored as well….
      And I’ve been meaning to do this for my memory’s sake for ages. So, despite the face this is for my amusement only,
      FIRST INSTALMENT
      Nottingham (98-01):
      Big Dan – West Ham fan (sweet), also into his two-step, unfortunately. Used to make the sweet love with ‘Sweet Like Chocolate’ on his stereo. Hot-shot lawyer.
      Ognen – Montenegran man-mountain. Arrested with us on fateful birthday night. Disapproved of our (fetid) lifestyle (twat). Disappeared without a trace.
      Ticklos – Unfeasibly long-armed failed medical student turned lawyer with a fondness for Scarface and porn so soft Mary Whitehouse wouldn’t raise an eyelid.
      Stuart – Geordie mentalist. Thought he was Jehovah and left Uni largely because of it (and depression, not funny I s’pose). Liked smashing out our windows with bricks. Words don’t really do justice.
      BenE – Black Country computer game playing midget. Smoked more weed than any man or beast should.
      MikeHill – ladies man and egotist. Good friend.
      Amy – sex pest, earth-shattering belches.
      Liz – Nice girl, wrong boyfriend.
      Jesus Nick – in dictionary under Hippy. Walking Beatles encyclopedia. Spitting image of the Son of God.
      Div – erstwhile dealer/raver and good friend despite being from Norfolk.
      Karlos – very funny guy. Liked to take his shirt off in pubs and mime singing Irish Republican songs at places we really weren’t welcome.
      Mike Flynn – 40-a-day.
      Dan Youds – The Butcher.
      Sarah – ex-girlfriend and utter (UTTER) mashup.
      Elaine – sex on Valium at 5 in the morning was a bad idea.
      (+15 other girls in a big student flat with lots of microdots, valium and large lounge windows that opened too far out).
      Jimmy Dixon – Bradford rugby league nutter.
      Ashley-
      Simon – my Pizza Hut co-workers. Chicken wings for dinner every night for a week.
      And on to Prague…..

    • A comparatively constructive way to fill a bored half hour, though.

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