When I was applying for jobs back in November and was offered this one I took it on the condition that it was just customer services and not sales. And so it was.
Then last month we had a training session to introduce the new credit card the bank was now offering and we were told how to send out applications, which was fair enough.
Over the last month the pressure to ‘sell’ these applications to customers has steadily and insidiously risen. First the ‘incentives’ were introduced – sell ten cards, get a bottle of Baccardi Breezer, and so on. Then a couple of weeks ago my team leader started putting the form on my desk every day, saying I should try to get ten accepts that day. I didn’t say anything, just hoped that he would get the message that I wasn’t happy and stop badgering me.
This week the tactics have changed somewhat. On Tuesday I was called into a meeting where we were shown 4 pictures of a plane taking off and told that we were on the ground, ready to take off, but we wanted to be in the air, soaring over the world of accepts. The guy explained that we had to act as the customers’ account manager and ‘go that final inch’ to ‘get that sale’. I didn’t say anything.
This week we have a temporary team leader while the other one is on holiday, and as she seems nice I explained my problems with what was happening. She seemed to be fairly understanding but stayed well away from saying I could avoid offering the cards.
Today I came into the office to be confronted with trays full of cream cakes. My temporary team leader offered me one, then when I had it in my hand said “Ok, that’s your reward for getting five accepts today”
I said “What if I don’t get five accepts.”
She said “Well, you’d have to return the reward”
“What, bring it back up from my stomach?”
“No, you’d have to buy another one to replace it.”
So I put the cream cake by my desk and watched it congeal and go stale all day.
I was determined to show myself to be the most stubborn person in the
office. Then later on I started to think how stupid I must look with a cream cake in front of me, with nobody really caring about whether I’d eaten it or not. Was I turning into some kind of ridiculous pompous twat? Why didn’t I just sell some cards and have done with it?
But then I realised they had got one step ahead of me with their personnel psychology. I was meant to feel ridiculous so I could go along with their scheme.
I am not selling credit cards. I hate credit cards. I wish all “our” customers would pay them up and get rid of them instead of killing their selves with debt.
So I gave them my notice. In two months I leave England for wherever.

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14 Responses to

  1. Anonymous says:

    Damn right, brother.
    How old are you Saturday?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Damn right, brother.
    How old are you Saturday?

  3. white_spyder says:

    Man, that sucks. I’d hate to do that, then they just keep harassing you to do more of something you don’t want to do in the first place… That’s sooo not cool.

  4. It’s funny we worked at totally opposite ends of the Lloyds spectrum, but I left for a lot of the same reasons.

    • Really? Were you in a branch, then? You wouldn’t belive some of the shit this year – there’s a pay freeze for the lowest level staff and a 20% increase for the executives. Fuckers.

      • Anonymous says:

        er, I was a little closer to the top of the company … one of the fuckers …. international finance, investment research, something like that …

  5. banks are pathetic when it comes to “moulding” their staff. they seem to prey on the weak minded by making sure they choose the ones with the least personality at interview and then they force them to accept their work as their life. almost like that episode of black books but it’s bank not a bookshop.
    i had to leave hsbc, it was full of idiots being treated like children and enjoying it.
    why did they have to show you a film of a plane taking off. it’s such a simple concept to grasp.

    • The whole point of that meeting was unclear. He just spent the whole time going on about how fantastic Southend was and how terrible Brighton is. Then at the end he asked us to write down the reason we didn’t want to buy a pen off him for £1. I wrote that I had plenty of pens. Then we read out our answers and left.

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