Beijing: househunting, housetrapping, housebaiting

The plan, as much as it existed, had been to find a job with a flat. The two were supposed to arrive together. In all the hassle of getting here, though, both were indefinitely delayed, and after a couple of days at a hostel I found myself sleeping on John’s floor again, sharing the space with a couple of Mexican turtles.

Fortunately I was due to move in with V, and she was very much on the case. We trawled classified adverts together for an afternoon, then started looking at some of the lower end options. The following afternoon we looked at a couple of places – an unworkable semi-renovated room in a hutong and a reasonably nice room in a shared flat near the Communication University, which we would have taken but for my hesitancy and indecision.

After this expected frustration we decided to answer Chinese adverts rather than English ones. For the usual reasons, flats for foreigners in Beijing tend to be expensive. One landlord doubled the rent when he found out I was English, after first checking that I wasn’t black, as he “wouldn’t have a black tenant whatever the price”. The landlord of the place we ended up taking (the flat underneath the one we missed out on) had slightly more reasonable stipulations – no Tibetans (“trouble”), no Muslims (“terrorists”) and no Americans (“responsible for the financial crisis”). As I was none of these, and the place looked reasonably good, we decided to take it. Which was a mistake.

Returning with my bag the next day the first problems became clear. The lights in the bathroom and kitchen had been fixed, but instead of improving things, these just revealed how dirty the flat was – beyond normal levels of filth, the other tenants had evidently left it to fester so long that simply cleaning wouldn’t even begin to address the squalor. It was so bad it even resembled the infamous house I shared in Newcombe Road, Southampton.

The next problem to be encountered was a lack of hot water. This provided a good excuse not to use the horrific shower for a night, but obviously needed to be fixed as soon as possible. The door lock didn’t work at all, and V’s increasingly agitated phone-calls persuaded the agency to send round a handyman who, instead of replaced the lock, simply fitted a padlock; sturdy in its way, but leaving us open to burglars in possession of a screwdriver.

These minor quibbles were quickly forgotten when we got to the police station to register my residency. The officer, a sour round-faced woman of about 22, insisted on taking down the landlord’s ID. V called the rentals office, not expecting any problems, but received a simple immovable answer – “we don’t rent to foreigners.” Pointing out to them that they had just rented a room to a certified foreigner didn’t seem to alter their viewpoint. There was no option but to walk out of the police station and consider our very limited options.

I was unregistered, liable to a fine, but unable to move to avoid it. The house was in an almost uninhabitable state. Money was running pretty low. V attempted to resolve the situation by calling the agency, but by bedtime the only compromise they would make was to allow me to stay there. V was all for tearing up the contract and moving out, but I had a feeling the situation would get better soon. It didn’t.

The next morning we were woken up by a banging at the door. Was it the landlord, come to throw us out? Was it the handyman, come to install a real lock? Or maybe the police, tipped off and ready to fine me? No. It was a builder who had come to renovate the bathroom, leaving it unusable for “about a month”. If we wanted to use a toilet there was one in the basement, though it turned out this was the private property of a very angry man in a string vest.

It was at this point that I agreed to move, whatever it took. There was another room available in the same block, but we’d previously turned it down on the grounds that the guy opposite looked like a triad. Another visit showed it to be a good deal cleaner and more functional than our place. After half an hour of haggling we managed to get a good price, and started moving our possessions from the 13th floor down to the 3rd. V arrived upstairs first, and found the agency showing people round the place already. Since the room had been locked they’d taken the executive decision to unscrew the padlock themselves, and were sitting on the bed investigating our electrical equipment when V showed up.

Later that day we visited the rentals agency office. It looked like a modern police station – bare cubicles undecorated save for a plain table and plastic chairs, each with large holes in the walls facing into the corridor. We sat down with a couple of unhappy looking estate agents in casual suits and V argued with them while I sat and failed to understand what anyone was saying. After half an hour we left with our rent, deposit and a full apology. Finally, not bad.

We’ve been in the new place on the third floor for almost a week now. It’s all been plain sailing apart from a lack of internet, curtains, and a collapsing sink, problems which have been resolved rather than dragging on and worsening. I’ve even found decent-paying work – more on that later, maybe. Things are looking up, at last.

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Northern Thailand

It was the opposite of a shock to return to Thailand after my time in Laos – not pleasant familiarity, but an easiness that doesn’t fit in that well with my idea of travel, whatever that is. Not that anything went badly, just that there was a certain sense that from this point onward I was on the proper tourist trail.
This was something I’d anticipated, and this was one of the reasons I decided to try out the Couchsurfers website, an online community in which travel types link up with each-other to provide free accommodation. My host was Eric, a Malay guy with a Thai wife, who lives in a small village outside Chiang Rai. I was just there for a night, and had a good chat with the guy, before setting out the next day for Chiang Mai.
On the way there was an afternoon to spend in Chaing Rai, not a bad little provincial capital, though not one with more than enough sights for a day. There were some nice temples I almost happened across, of course – this one came out particularly well.

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All the same, I was getting Temple Fatigue, something I would develop into a fine art within days. Seeing Angkor halfway through the trip could well have been a mistake as everything after was bound to be a step down.
I picked the cheapest bus to Chiang Mai, and didn’t regret it until the realization that the night was drawing in and the windows were all wedged open, leading to another journey mainly spent shivering. It was 11pm by the time we arrived, and an expensive tuk-tuk took me down to the centre, where I found every place with a dorm either fully booked or closed up for the night. Eventually I came across a basic hotel with a moderately priced room.
There were another two and a half days in the city, though I didn’t do much. Superficially the place was fairly nice, but for some reason I just didn’t enjoy my time there. Maybe it was the T.F. – I deliberately overdosed on temples the first day to leave myself a day free for… what? I forget. There were some very nice ones, all the same.

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My favourite was this one – a vast semi-demolished shape which would have seemed much more at home at the end of a jungle path rather than in the backstreets.

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It was so hot at this point that I feared going into the sunlight for even a minute with my pasty, burnable skin. These, and other pictures, were taken either from the shade or from a brief dalliance into the sunshine.

Aside from temples Chiang Mai has an apparently famous but not particularly interesting night market, with food.

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On the way back I spotted a man with a baby elephant. His business plan seemed to involve stopping at bars, letting the elephant eat tourists food, then waiting until someone gave him money to take it away.

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There’s a very famous temple complex just outside Chiang Mai, which I spent the best part of a day trying and failing to get to. The quoted price in the tourist guides is about 80p, but the parasitic tuk-tuk drivers have entered into some kind of cartel to jack the price up to £10. After a few hours being carted around trying to find one reasonable businessperson in the entire city I got angry, for the first time on the trip. I swear that the people operating transport in Chiang Mai are the most unpleasant shysters to be found in any walk of life in the whole of South-East Asia. I don’t know if it was this that left a bad taste in my mouth, but I certainly departed with a negative view of the admittedly attractive place. This is what it means to be ruined by tourism – the creeping feeling that everyone you speak to is trying to sell you something, and for many times what it’s worth. That’s not fun.

Leaving for Pai was a good idea at this point. Adam had recommended I go there and I probably wouldn’t have heard of it otherwise. The only transport was another old bus, so I took some slightly warmer clothes, but the problem this time wasn’t cold but coach-sickness. The road we took must be one of the most ridiculously windy in the world, and the bus engine was ill-equipped to manage it.
There wasn’t really anything to do or see in Pai, which turned out to be an absolute blessing. It was exactly what I needed – a break from the T.F. and the salespeople with no little voice telling me I have to do something or see something. What there was was a good selection of restaurants selling excellent Thai food – Na’s kitchen in particular sold Thai curry so good I can’t begin to describe it – and some decent bars where expats, travellers and locals all drank, mixed and had fun in a way unimaginable in regimented tourist-spots like Chiang Mai.
The place was at the same time small and sleepy enough that a dog could feasibly sleep in the middle of the main road in the middle of the afternoon.

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My room was a hut which cost £1.50 a night, amazing value for Thailand. In the daytime I lounged around here with the cats.

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After three or four days my time really was running out, and my appointment with South Thailand touristland was due.

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Up the Mekong

Like much of the other travel advice I’d been offered, the description of the Mekong boat trip as ‘not worth the bother’ turned out to be completely untrue. The three cities had been great, but much of the time something hadn’t exactly clicked for some reason. That 8am though, as I stepped on the boat something changed. There’s a pressure when you’re in a place for a couple of days – there are things you have to see, you have to negotiate prices, not spend too much money, and on top of this I’ve given myself a few projects to organise on the way. On the boat, though, there’s nobody to meet, nothing to buy, nothing to worry about. There’s nothing to do but watch the scenery go by, eat, drink and doze. It was a tiny little boat with about 30 seats powered by a tractor engine in the back, but it had everything we needed.

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The views on the first day were worth it alone – not that they were dramatic, more just right.

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Just after sunset the boat stopped at the small town of Pakbeng for the night. Even the word ‘town’ might be a bit much – the place wasn’t any more than a strip of buildings perched between the jungle with a small jetty. A few steps onto dry land we’d all been press-ganged into taking rooms in a fairly nice guesthouse two minutes walk up the road on the other side of town, then there was just a couple of hours to get some dinner before the power generator was turned off at 11.
Outside my room there was a preying mantis.

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Inside my trousers was a large hissing clinging beetle.

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…and next to my bed was a large gecko. If you’re not an insect then geckos are harmless, but I couldn’t have slept with the noise they make, so I got the man to capture it with a special tool.

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Don’t worry, it’s not hurt. Just really, really pissed off.

The second day the views were if anything better. We were deep into the infamous ‘Golden Triangle’ by this point, and I’d got to know the other passengers the previous night, so it was a little more social. At lunchtime a storm passed over and we had to take shelter for a little while. The delay meant we were able to see the sunset over one ofthe widest point of this part of the Mekong.

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The delay also meant that we were too late to get the ferry across the river to Thailand, and had to wait another night in larger but still small town of Huexai, which had a little less in the way of character and a lot more stray dogs.
The next morning everyone hurried to get to Thailand, but I lounged around waiting for the daily rainstorm to finish and had my last Lao meal. At 12 I finally took a tuk-tuk to the boat station, which was made up of a canoe and the smallest, least serious passport control office I’ve ever seen. On the other side I was suddenly in Thailand, without any sort of fanfare, and took a motorbike taxi through the unremarkable town of Chiang Khong to the tiny bus station. From there, with a great deal of help, I found my way to a small village outside Chaing Rai, which is where I’ll leave this for today.

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Laos Part 2 – Luang Prabang

The bus journey from Vang Vieng to Luang Prabang was in some ways worse than the one from Siem Reap. In its favour it was at least half full, or half empty, so I had a double seat to myself, and the road wasn’t too badly repaired. On the other hand it was a rickety old citybus and the road was a windy path up through the mountains, which the ancient pulleys and levers in the engine were only just about able to manage. It was cold up there too, and as usual the guy in front of me insisted on having the window wide open – in order not to freeze I had to dig my suit jacket and a couple of t-shirts out of my bag. LP is only about 60 miles from VV as the crow flies, but the journey took us all of seven hours.

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It was still light when we arrived, and not hard at all to find a tuk-tuk to take me into the centre, where I found a room for about £2.50 and ditched my stuff to go out and check out the town. I didn’t get to the centre of the action until I’d had some food and internet, and by then it was 11 and everything seemed to be closed or closing – Laos isn’t anything if it isn’t sleepy – but I once again managed to bump into the same guy I’d met on the border and in Vang Vieng. He was with a few other people all trying to work out what to do when everything was closed. A passing songthaew driver heard us and took us to a bowling alley on the outskirts, where I bowled a 66 game, then a 48.
The next day I woke up with the old travel fatigue disease. It’s something to do with traveling for a couple of months – you just get to the point when you’re just no longer in the mood to explore new places. The remedy was to get on a bike and cycle round, which in the end did the trick. At first I was going to see temples, which narrowed the disease down to ‘temple fatigue’ – some of them were very nice indeed, but after you’ve seen Angkor and the palace in Phnom Penh it takes a bit more to impress. Still, the photos came out well.

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More on this theme under the cut

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Last Night A DJ Killed My Dog #012 – Flying

Though I’m of the traveling persuasion, I don’t take that many flights. It seems a little wasteful if I do – there’s no hurry and I want to see as much of the journey as I can. Tonight I am taking a plane, though – from Hong Kong to London. I could go overland, but this time I really don’t have the time or the money. Don’t get me wrong, I know there’s a lot of people who find flying either distressing or dull, but it still excites me somehow. It’s something to do with being up amongst the clouds. They look so odd up there, it’s like being in another world. I like going through thunderstorms too, though it seems to scare the other passengers.
This mix was made to listen to as you fly. An hour’s listening time should cover the allowed listening time on most short-haul flights. Not all the tracks here are about flying – some I just thought would sound good up there. There’s no mention of accidents at any point.

1. The Divine Comedy – Tonight We Fly
2. Girlfrendo – Air
3. The Flaming Lips – In the Morning of the Magicians
4. Clearlake – Winterlight
5. Flanders & Swann – By Air
6. Goldfrapp – Fly Me Away
7. Angela Morley – Kehaar’s Theme
8. Vangelis – Blush Response
9. Douglas Adams – Learning To Fly
10. Gruff Rhys – Skylon!
11. Tangerine Dream – Fly And Collision Of Comas Sola (Excerpt)

http://lastnightadjkilledmydog.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=349183
Direct download: http://media.libsyn.com/media/lastnightadjkilledmydog/LNADJKMD_12_Flying.mp3

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Laos pt 1 – Vientiane and Vang Vieng

After a night in Bangkok (which I’ll write about a bit later) I took a “sleeper bus” to the Thai-Lao border. It didn’t have beds, but the reclining chairs went back far enough for the journey to be bearable. As usual we arrived at the border at silly-o-clock and discovered that there was a large surcharge for paying for the visa in baht, then another one as it was Saturday and they were working overtime. While we were waiting and arguing about this everyone on the bus got to meet each-other. The most vocal was an American exchange student who was taking a break from studying in Hong Kong and claimed, infuriatingly, that the Chinese food was better in LA.
A little later we crossed the Friendship Bridge and arrived in the Lao capital of Vientiane. I couldn’t quite believe we were there. It seemed more like a small country town than a capital. You could cross the road any time day or night and not have to wait more than a few seconds – in fact I never saw an actual queue of cars. Even on the biggest street at what would normally be called rush hour there was less traffic than on your average country road in the middle of nowhere. It didn’t feel like a backwater either – everywhere you could find excellent cafes and bakeries. So all together exactly the kind of place I like to visit, not to say a relief after the chaos of Vietnam and Cambodia.
There wasn’t a great deal to see in the city, for all its charms. I did find the national museum which persistently and hilariously referred to the USA as “imperialist aggressors” on almost every caption, and a few almost-deserted temples. Unfortunately most of the photos I took were destroyed in a memory card virus attack, but these were salvaged:

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click for more photos

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Siem Reap, Angkor and a few buses

It would’ve been nice to have stayed on in Phnom Penh a couple more days at least, but time was starting to run out and I was eager to see Cambodia’s biggest draw, Angkor Wat. Tyler was off back to China and Bruce was staying put, so it was just me and Shaun on the bus to Siem Reap. It wasn’t an eventful journey for a change, though this was entirely a good thing.
Later on, when I was in Laos, I spoke to an American girl who said that she’d been delighted on arriving in Siem Reap because there were immediately a gaggle of tuk-tuk drivers offering their services, “a return to civilization” she said. My reaction can’t have been more different. Twenty or thirty people shouting at me at once and blocking my way is just about my idea of hell (or at least one of its outer circles), fortunately close behind there was the owner of a guesthouse who had a piece of card with my name on it. This had been arranged through the OK Guesthouse, on the principle that one good place to stay would know about another. The principle turned out to be a little flawed, for a couple of reasons. It wasn’t that the place was hugely expensive, but the fact that everything cost at least twice the price in Phnom Penh was a little strange, and what with Angkor turning out to be $20 per day these two days ended up being two of the most pricey in the trip. For some reason they also elected to keep on all the lights and open the windows upstairs, which meant everyone got bitten (though there were quite a lot less mosquitoes in Cambodia than I’d been warned.)
The main problem, though, was my basic stupidity. In 2005 I managed to cut my chin open in Portugal, and my first action on arrival at the guesthouse was to fall over on the slippery floor and land on my chin, reopening the cut. For a moment I thought I might have broken something but then the worry shifted to a concern that I’d have to have it stitched up again. Most travel guides advise that if you get sick in Cambodia you should go to Bangkok, a good day’s journey away. The bleeding stopped after a little while, but it looked messy for over a week.
Our only full day in the city was spent, of course, visiting the ruins of the ancient city of Angkor. This is one of these cases where pictures are better than words, so here we are:

Lots of photos under the cut

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Phnom Penh

For every disappointment like Saigon there’s at least a few pleasant surprises, like Phnom Penh for example. What makes it so different from the former is hard to say, though. If Saigon is a red light safari then Phnom Penh is the depths of the jungle. Hopefully as I write I’ll be able to make some sense out of it.
The journey there was yet another inauspicious start. All was going fairly well in the bus until I stupidly agreed to change money before crossing the border into Cambodia. It seemed that I’d got a fairly good rate until a nagging doubt led me to check the number of zeros and find that they’d left off one, leaving me about 20 quid worse off. As far as travel disasters go it was fairly minor, but it left me in a bad mood which I took out on the pushy tuk-tuk drivers who greeted us at the bus stop.
On the journey I’d met a couple of Americans who I’d seen around in Saigon. Tyler was a surf-style guy from Chicago who lived in Shanghai, Shaun a big guy from Arizona who looked like a wrestler. We shared a ride to the “OK Guesthouse” in the nice area of town which was even better than its name suggested.
The next three days I hung out with these guys and Tyler’s friend Brian who had been in the city for a month. Our first destination was the notorious “Killing Fields” where Pol Pot carried out his slaughter of anyone suspected of being an intellectual or any for other reason. The pits of bodies had mainly been excavated, but there were still scraps of clothing trodden into the ground everywhere and signs that said things like “Children were beaten against this tree and thrown into this pit.” Very depressing indeed, and the thought “what am I doing here?” wouldn’t go away. The answer I suppose is that the alternative would be to ignore it, which would be worse. As I was walking around a little girl directed me down a path, and before I knew it I was halfway around a stagnant lake with about 15 kids surrounding me pleading for money. In the end I managed to get away, a few dollars handed out, but it seems fitting to this miserable place, which I’ve since learned is owned by a Japanese company. Here we all are outside the entrance.

The drive there and back was fairly interesting as we got to see a good amount of the city. The outskirts looked a bit like this…

…and the bit in the middle looked more like this:

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The rest of the afternoon we spent at the market, where I bought a much-needed knife and my day’s supply of mangosteens, then at a spa for (legitimate and actually very good) massages, and briefly by the side of the road taking goofy photos.

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In the evenings we went out to a few bars – some of them better than others. Prostitutes were absolutely everywhere, but this time it didn’t bother me. They weren’t crack-addled and they weren’t pushy. Sure I had to explain the whole “have a girlfriend and anyway don’t pay for sex” thing a few times, and thinking what these nice girls had to do for a living was a little depressing, but there’s something about the spirit of the Cambodians that makes speaking to any of them fun. It’s amazing with what they’ve been through that they could come out the other side with such a sense of humour. That’s what I liked so much about the city, really, the people. Almost everyone I met was a joy to speak to.
On my last day there I had the option to go and see the school that had been used as a centre for torturing people before they were taken to the killing fields, but instead I went to the palace to see some nice things, and I’m glad I did. Starting to suffer from temple-fatigue as I was it was still well worth seeing, and a little odd too (which is always a plus).

I’m putting these photos under a link to save space. Click here to see.

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Last Night A DJ Killed My Dog #011 – Robots

Bit of a long podcast this time, and many more tracks I’d have liked to put in, and a few I didn’t think of in time.

1. Fat Truckers – Anorexic Robot
2. Add (N) to X – Metal Fingers In My Body
3. Servotron – Slave To The Metal Hoard (Peel Session)
4. Daft Punk – Robot Rock
5. Silver Bullet – 20 Seconds To Comply
6. Vibert / Simmonds – (This Can) Robotic
7. 65 Days of Static – I Am Robot
8. Looper – My Robot
9. Rufus Thomas – Funky Robot (pt. 1)
10. Kenickie – Robot Song
11. Incredible String Band – Robot Blues
12. Erin Tobey – Robot Song
13. Kraftwerk – The Robots

http://lastnightadjkilledmydog.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=343603
Direct download: http://media.libsyn.com/media/lastnightadjkilledmydog/LNADJKMD_-_11_-_Robots.mp3

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Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City)

Sooner or later there was bound to be a city I just didn’t take to, and that city turned out to be Saigon – a slightly unfortunate note to leave Vietnam on. I suppose things started badly on the train there, which left Na Thrang two hours late during a flash storm which sent hundreds of cockroaches swimming over the tracks and onto our feet and bags. The train wasn’t much better. I sat next to an old lady who heavily objected to my being there and spent most of the journey complaing to the indifferent conductors. I would have move myself if another seat had been free.
When we arrived I found a taxi, agreed a price, sat for half an hour and then realised the driver didn’t have a clue where he was going. After a few directions we got there and he asked for double the money because of the ‘trouble’ (I didn’t agree of course). Sitting in a grotty hotel room that was terrible value at $7 I’d say I had every right to feel pissed off, but strangely enough I wasn’t. Trouble is bound to happen on a trip like this and you can’t let it bother you too much. Instead I went to an expensive bar, drank beer, talked to a German guy about football and watched the tourists and prostitutes pair up.
The area I stayed, ate and drank in was the backpacker ghetto area, Pham Ngu Lao. If you’re in the right part of it you can take a photo where it looks ok…

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…otherwise, though, I’m really not sure if it is ok. There’s something seedy about it, and not in a good way. I’m used to seeing a fair number of sex tourists in this part of the world, but there’s usually a separation, both from us travelling types and from the normal life of the city. In Saigon, much like in Amsterdam, the red light district and the backpacker area are one and the same, like an underworld safari. In Amsterdam at least there seems to be some sort of regulation.
I wouldn’t be complaining about Saigon (nobody there calls it Ho Chi Minh City) if I’d had a good time there, but I comprehensively failed to. The only successful trip I made was to the ‘War Remnants Museum’, which was staggeringly depressing. There were three main parts to the exhibition. One was a grizly reprroduction of torture and execution chambers, another a collection of photographs by war photographers who died in combat, with captions like “As he stood up to take this picture he was shot in the head.” The final part I visited was the central hall, which was devoted to graphic photos of the victims of US army massacres and napalm, including a real deformed pair of conjoined twins in a jar. It was impossible to leave with a cheery manner.
Another day I went to see the particularly pompous and dull cathedral, hid from the usual afternoon rainstorm in a dedent enough cafe, then went to see the Reunification Palace, which looked like a particularly ugly 1960s hotel.

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On te way back I did manage to see something halfway intresting, though. There are more motorbikes in Saigon than elsewhere in Vietnam – even more than in Hanoi, which I would’ve thought impossible. It was rush hour when I came across a traffic jam which was almost entiorely made of bikes.

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